The Mindful Teacher’s Mindset

Many people struggle with kids and discipline. Lots of people find it exhausting, and sure, some days are tough. However, I believe that many people get too caught up in the seriousness of the "child" part in "child care." Yes, it's a responsibility, yes they can get hurt, yes no one wants that, and of course no one wants to feel bad. My whole idea and my whole style is to be a guide from the inside out. Ok, ready?

#1 BE PLAYFUL ABOUT IT.

One of the greatest things our kids remind us of constantly is that every moment offers the possibility to be playful. And also, that playfulness is not only for kids! Have you noticed how much easier everything gets when you see the fun or the irony in it? I bet you have.

We are teaching and enriching our children's lives and because it's important, sometimes we take it too seriously. But when fun becomes your focus, learning becomes easier, and teaching becomes easier too.

One of the best ways to acknowledge that something is important, and to honor it, is by being playful about it.

#2 BE EASY ABOUT IT.

The more relaxed you are, the more you'll be able to direct the course of action with minimal effort.

Children are emotional mirrors. They sense your tension or your calmness and reflect it back at you. Be easy about it and everything will immediately become easier.

Establishing harmony and flow is a day-to-day practice. Sure — there will be crises and emergencies, and that's when you want your voice to be heard. But on a regular Friday morning, you just want to be in control of your own mood and your reactions. Your kids' moods and behavior will match and will be so much easier to manage. And much more fun too!

#3 SET YOUR INTENTION IN ADVANCE.

The most valuable part of your work is the one you do before any interaction with your kids, whether it's in the morning before they wake up, or before you start your workday. Set your own intention as to how you want your day to unfold.

Again, children are emotional mirrors, and when they are with you, you are guiding them. It's up to you to use your care and your focus to inspire the general mood and energy. And it's your ambition that things go well for everybody.

Center yourself, ground yourself, and visualize your ability to be fun and stimulating. Think about how you've already enriched their lives (and your own — in the process).

Take a little bit of time to smile about how satisfying this day can be, anticipate how they will thrive, anticipate their collaboration, anticipate the fun moments together.

Your energy and mood are the number one factor in managing kids. Proactively taking care of how you feel will make a huge difference, and your time with the kids will unfold with far more ease.

#4 DON'T FORCE IT.

Sometimes they just won't do it, and that's not necessarily a problem.

If you encounter incredible resistance, and they just won't do that activity or that task, let it go for a little bit. Wait until later, wait 5 minutes, or wait until the mood has shifted, then try again. If it's not really really urgent and important, you'll find that waiting until the next "cycle" will yield the result you want more easily and smoothly.

It's not about letting them do whatever they want. But very few things need to get done this red hot minute, and often being forceful has the opposite effect.

#5 TAKE SHORT BREAKS AND REST.

You can tell by the way you feel if you're being effective. Sometimes you're not, and you should rest.

Start paying attention to when you're on the verge of getting tired. Come up with an excuse and create some downtime. All you might need could be a minor change, such as shifting from an activity to reading time.

Sometimes a little rest can come from setting up different stations and separating all kids into couples or small groups.

Resting and recharging before you get tired will prevent a deep valley from following a high energy peak. You know the kids, and you know you; by proactively getting some rest during the day, everything will flow better.

#6 HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT "WHY ARE YOU ALL CRAZY TODAY?!?" FEELING.

You know what I mean, and I'm sure you've experienced it at least once. Sometimes it just feels like there is a chaotic mutiny taking place against you. Then two of them start fighting; one gets hurt, one starts yelling for no reason, one keeps smashing a block on the floor, etc.

Raising your voice is not going to work. Because… it's not them. It's you! (And it has happened to me a bunch of times too.)

It's probably not your fault. Perhaps you showed up with too many thoughts in your head, or someone made you angry, or you spilled your coffee, or you didn't manage to do something you needed to do or you didn't have time to work out, or, or, or.

Sure — kids will do "things" sometimes, and they can be stressed or tired too, but if it's ALL of them, then it's you. Sometimes you just have to ride it out, but the most useful thing you can do in situations like these is to take yourself away for a TIME OUT. If that's an option, or if you have an assistant or another adult around, hide somewhere for 5 minutes, and reset your mood. Listen to a song you like, or to some comedy, meditate, pray, whatever works for you. When you remove your (negative) energy from the kids' space, you're likely to come back to a much calmer situation.

If the situation continues to spiral downwards, well… You might just have to laugh it out!