Life Lessons from the Quarantine

Like most moms, I work several ‘jobs’. I’m a freelance travel journalist and a children’s yoga teacher. Not to mention the mother of four-year-old twins and a two-year-old. There’s never a dull moment. 

Up until this year, our family life was a busy mix of preschool pickups and nursery drop-offs, chaotic kids’ yoga classes and globetrotting research. Plus playdates and dinner dates aplenty.

Then last March Covid-19 arrived. And everything changed.

Lockdown shrunk our world right down. My children’s school and daycare closed overnight. Traveling for work is both unnecessary and - for most of us - foolish. Although (four months later) restrictions in the UK are slowly easing, yoga classes are still off the cards. My husband is tapping away on his laptop in the bedroom. We’re all home together.

INITIAL IMPRESSIONS

Everyone’s had their own challenges during this period. Home-schooling families. Grandparents separated from grandchildren. Singles isolating solo. For us, our issue was meeting the (constant) needs of three very young and energetic kids.

For the first month I felt overstimulated. That’s strange, as the only time we were leaving the house was for “exercise”, permitted once a day. But having daily life grind to a halt scattered my attention over everything. I barely paused to process.

Then the universe started revealing six important lessons that I’d clearly been skipping out on. Ones that I promised myself I wouldn’t forget.

LESSON 1: TAKE YOUR TIME

The first afternoon I took the kids to the park during lockdown, the birdsong was so loud it stopped us in our tracks. We examined budding branches. Splashed in puddles. Played tag.

I like to think I spend a lot of unhurried, quality time with my children. Life with kids necessitates some kind of schedule, but we don’t overdo it. However, the pure luxury of limitless time - actually having to be nowhere at all - brought the world around us into focus. 

Nature is better than the most engaging Netflix video. Even more than that, it brought my children into focus. What grabs their attention, their silly jokes, their soft kid snuggles. We all benefit from going slower.

LESSON 2: BODIES NEED TO MOVE

As all parents and caregivers with young kids can attest, the speed of exercise *as a family* is hardly pulse-racing. In my pre-Covid world, I attended yoga classes and walked miles on a daily basis.

Over the past few months, I’ve struggled to carve out the occasional hour for my yoga practice. Our house is small, so unless it’s family yoga (great! but not actually all-the-time great), I need to squeeze it in when the kids are in bed. (A tricky challenge, as the probability of snoozing during Savasana skyrockets.) 

I’ve had to find a way to move that fits in with our new schedule. So for the maximum movement within the shortest time period, I’ve started jogging. The pure physical sensation of running - something that has never interested me before - is a total delight.

I pace through the nearby countryside or loop through the park. I watch the trees change as spring has morphed into summer. Spot shapes in the clouds. I literally stop and smell roses. 

This intense physical activity - and the equilibrium it gives me afterwards - helps me to better understand how my children’s bodies crave movement. As adults, we forget the pure pleasure in feeling your body in motion. Like the buzz I get from my body, my kids need to sprint, jump, cycle, hop, roll, shuffle and crawl too. 

We all need daily movement in order for our bodies and minds to thrive.

LESSON 3: MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

We cannot pour from an empty cup. I want to be able to give everything to the people I love. But if I do not take care of myself, I’m running on fumes. And that’s no good for anyone in my family. 

I’ve learned to take time to read a book, linger over a meal, exercise, meditate, dream and draw. Cultivate recognising what it is that makes you happy. Then repeat.

LESSON 4: GIVE YOURSELF - AND EVERYONE ELSE - A BREAK

Cut yourself a lot of slack. These are strange times and we’re all doing our best. 

I love a clean house. (My house is not clean.) I dislike having to plan everything we eat a week in advance because we can no longer stop at the local market. (So I don’t always do it, and frozen pizza can occasionally be on heavy rotation.) It’s fine to let things that matter less slide. We’re all in survival mode. 

Save your energy for the things that count. Time with the people you love. Activities that make you happy. You’re doing your best, and that is very, very good.

LESSON 5: IT’S OK TO MIX THINGS UP

We all know what we should be doing (see above). But I’ve also learned that because we’re managing our time 100% of the time, it’s easy to get caught in a loop, ricocheting from kids’ lessons to healthy meal preparation to daily exercise. 

It’s more than OK to take a crazy, no-rules break from this routine. In fact, the clarity it affords you often offers a fresh new perspective on daily life.

So leave everything. Spend a whole day in the garden (hint: water in any form, from a paddling pool to spray bottles, offers hours of kid-friendly entertainment). Make popcorn and plan your own movie marathon. Pile into the car and try a new-for-your family hike. (Bonus: we discovered wild strawberries for the first time ever on our last countryside trek!)

LESSON 6: EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY

Hardly revolutionary (and a central tenet of Buddhism) but maybe the most hard-hitting of my lessons. Everything changes. Nothing is permanent. Yes, that includes you, Covid. But also the way we lived before is dynamic. The way we will live. And most importantly, the precious, fabulous, awe-inspiring time we have with our children and our most beloved right now.